being the only girl in class has my mind racing – [F19] [Public Fantasy] [Multiple Partners] [Classroom Setting]

i did not really think it through when i signed up for these courses but somehow i ended up being the only girl in the entire class. at first it just felt a bit awkward, like this weird spotlight was on me that i did not ask for. the first week i tried to ignore it, just focus on the lectures and take notes like normal, but it is impossible not to notice them.

they sneak these quick glances when they think i am not looking. you know the kind. their eyes flick over and they pretend they were always staring at the board or their laptop. sometimes they lean in too close when they sit next to me, like they are testing how close they can get without me moving away. other times they make stupid little jokes, just to see if they can make me laugh, and i always do because i am polite but it feels… intimate, somehow. it is like there is this tension that no one talks about.

and even if they do not mean it that way my brain absolutely does. i will be sitting there listening to the lecture, pretending to take notes, while my thoughts are just spiraling. i imagine what it would be like if they all stopped pretending to be so polite. if they just gave in to those looks they think i do not see. i picture them surrounding me, pressing in close, their hands all over me. that hungry look in their eyes when they realise i want it too.

it gets worse when i think about them knowing exactly what i am imagining. like what if they could just tell. what if they could see how hard i am pressing my thighs together under the desk, trying not to squirm. what if they could see how red my face gets when i let myself think about it too long. there have been moments i have caught myself toying with the hem of my skirt or fidgeting too much, and i have to force myself to stop before someone notices.

and i am not even safe from my thoughts about the lecturer. he is older, always acting like he is above all of us, so serious and authoritative. but even he slips into the fantasy sometimes. i imagine him trying to keep that calm teacher face while he joins in. like he knows he should stop but he cannot. that part makes me squirm in my seat the worst.

it is embarrassing how much being the only girl just feeds into all of it. there is something about knowing i stand out so much, about all of them looking at me, that just makes it worse. i try so hard to act normal, to be polite and quiet and focused, but inside i am a complete mess. my brain is just this whirlwind of wanting.

i do not think they have any idea how easy it is to get me worked up. just a look, a joke, them sitting too close. i am practically dripping with the thought of them noticing, realising what a mess i am inside. sometimes i wonder if they would be shocked or if they already suspect.

i wish i could turn it off but i cannot. being the only one just makes the thoughts louder, more insistent. i try to stay composed but all i can think about is being surrounded, taken, used exactly how they want. it is humiliating but i would not even stop them. honestly that is the worst part. knowing i would let them.